A little over a year ago my life fell apart. If I’m being accurate it was more along the lines of November 2017. I was not expecting my then relationship to fail. I wasn’t expecting to be in my thirties and homeless. I wasn’t expecting shit to be turned upside down in the course of a day.
It became a testament to that whole life can change at the blink of an eye cliché. I sulked for days, stayed home from work and ignored life. Ignored everything I could. My biggest pick me up became being Mom which for many of us is a stressor. My children were genuinely my only source of happiness for the longest time.
My ex-husband became my savior in so many ways, but most of all he helped teach me a new way of life I never thought I would see coming from him. He has had to deal with his own fair share of emotional trauma in his lifetime and didn’t always process things in the best of ways. I think that’s just the human in all of us. Especially if our upbringing isn’t the best.
We aren’t taught a healthy way of dealing with our emotions when you grow up in a cycle of poverty. Or if you have parents who may struggle with their own mental illness; diagnosed or not. From a young age, I battled with depression. The medications for depression spiraled me into a complete insomniac, and I would stay up for days at a time. I stopped going to school, I was put on a homebound study program my Junior and Senior year of high school because of this.
I barely left my room. I didn’t interact with my friends much. I had a handful of people I kept on my circle because I knew and trusted them, deeply. They were my ride or die friends and still are to this day. It wasn’t until I turned 18 and decided as an adult that maybe those anti-depressants weren’t for me. From then on, I did much better.
It wasn’t until this time last year that I was really ready to make a change in my life. There wasn’t a magical ah-ha moment by any means either. I just got sick and tired of being miserable. I was over thinking about the bad all the time or letting the shit I can’t change have a negative impact on my day-to-day life.
If you take your time to focus on the good, cut out toxic people, and put more positivity out into the world… life from there on out will be much better.
For me, I started with music. Something I love passionately. I found some new bands that I had never listened to before and dove into their tunes. Lots of beach type reggae.
- Sublime with Rome
- Michael Franti
- Dirty Heads
- Stick Figure
The list could go on forever. From this Michael Franti has become hands down one of my favorite musicians because of the positive messages in his music. He’s an advocate all across the board including his own campaign which is heavily in his music called Stay Human. I highly suggest checking out his newest music video, Flower.
Next, I found a place locally that made me very happy; the beach. Now I know a lot of people don’t care for zodiac signs and whatnot but I fully am a cancer. I love the water. I love the beach. I love laying out in the sun. I just love everything about the beach, so I made it a point to start taking evening walks on the beach.
There is something so relaxing about just taking in nature and unwinding with the beauty of your surroundings. I’m very fortunate to live so close to such a beautiful beach in Daytona. Coming from the Northeast shoreline, I had never seen a beach with such beautiful sand that doesn’t cut your feet open trying to walk barefoot.
That turned into taking pictures of the colorful skies and magical scenes I witnessed every night. This helped my hobby goal big time.
Next came a quest for a hobby that would not only be productive but something that I would absolutely love. I didn’t put much thought into it because photography fell into my lap with my evening walks on the beach.
Writing really had always brought me happiness, but I became burnt out after churning out book after book for years. I felt like I had the dumb. No joke. I needed to jump ship. Even though I am back 🤷🏻♀️
Lastly, I added a couple catchphrases to my daily life that have helped me to get away from overreacting to things. Especially in a negative way. I used to fly off the handle at the littlest things. The most epic meltdowns mixed with yelling. If you have ever met me in person you know I’m basically LOUD AF. That didn’t help.
It is what it is.
I started to use that to help process things I have no control over. If there is literally nothing you can do in your power to change something or a situation, there is no reason for you to dwell on it or worry yourself sick over it.
It’s life. Shit happens. We are all going to run into things that are going to bother us but the level you let it impact you is what you can control.
Let it go
Let go of the negative feelings and animosity you may have for others in your life. If you feel like that person is toxic or causing you more problems than they are worth, don’t feel bad about cutting them off! This is YOUR LIFE! It’s a privilege for people to be involved in your world.
Your presence is a privilege. Treat it that way!
Because if you don’t. Who will?
You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are worthy of nothing but the best.
Now get out there and start living your best life.